Date - 29th May 2009   Location – Gilwell Park

ACCUSED  - Andrew “Shifty” Smith
BORN          - Sometime last century

1. That you did between 23rd May and 29th May 2009 deliberately deface Cubjam Menu boards to the annoyance of all Kitchen staff.
Contrary to section 27 Cubjam regulations 2005

2. That you did between 23rd May and 29th May 2009 pretended to be a real train driver.
Contrary to section 12(a) Having fun at Camp Act 1972

3. That you did between 23rd May and 29th May 2009, whilst not an official Union Member cause unrest between hard working colleagues at camp.
Contrary to section 48 Camp crew staff regulations 1960 as amended by the Bog cleaning Act 1984.

4. That you did on at least one occasion between 23rd and 29th May 2009 fall asleep whilst on duty in a prohibited place (the White House Lawn) whilst on duty in charge of a lethally propelled vehicle.
Contrary to the pretend train drivers Code of practice 2001 and the “I am the fat controller” regulations 2003

5. That you did one night whilst at cubjam use said “pretend” train to rustle toilets rolls and car park permits for your own gain.
Contrary to section 1 Sneaking about at night Act 2005 and Section 401 the Improper use of toy train Act 2004

6. That you did one night whilst rustling toilet rolls did kidnap an honest hardworking member of the night team, namely Jen and then held her against her will whilst trying to pass the blame on to everyone else.
Contrary to All Sections of the Good Egg at Camp Act 1908 onwards and the Bring Back Jen Campaign (Cubjam 2009)